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A Time for Teens - Sexy Teenagers

If you haven’t yet become acquainted with party punk band, Sexy Teenagers, well friends, you have been missing out! Hailing from Rochester, New York, they are: Baja Mixer, Chris Buhr, John Adams, and Andrew Bement. This foxy foursome teased us for 6 whole years since their last release in 2014, Look What This Cheesecake Has Done To Us, before finally putting out their latest record, A Time for Teens, in November of 2020. Let’s talk about what these self-proclaimed “sad clown chucklefucks” have given us after the long wait.

The Sexy Teenagers kick off their new record with an automated voicemail disparagement, not the only semi-humorous (they did say they were sad clowns) voice sample used throughout the track list (a possible nod to Sloppy Seconds’- Destroyed?) before breaking into the first tune, “Poop Hammer.”

The second track, “Bam! A Giant Red Star”, is a big banger and gives us a great feel for what they are all about. The third track on the album managed to get stuck in my head and stay firmly lodged there since my first listen. Very relatable, Sexy Teens, my friends are hoes and eskimo bros as well. Skanky ska riffs are tucked into this album as well, especially so in track four, “Pizza Bites for Dinner,” because why the hell not? This band certainly encourages us all to embrace our own inner teen - pizza rolls and burnt mouths for everyone!

Speaking of angst and all that good stuff, check out track #5, “Cities Between Us”, if you like bouncing around your bedroom to poppy punk bubblegum beats. We all should have more fun in our lives, yes? Tracks 6 and 7, “To Be Seen” and “Pavlov’s Hamster (Part 2)” respectively, get a bit emo on us, but we’re here for it. What kind of teen, or former teen, doesn’t feel a little emo now and then?

I Left My Van In Staten Island,” (again, super relatable) is perhaps one of my favorite tunes on the record. Even though the lyrics claim that they play too many shows, I think that most listeners at this point in the album, myself included, will resoundingly disagree, and who wouldn’t? This album is super fun, with an awesome throwback feel, energetic ska punk riffs that just won’t quit, and breakdowns that are some real wall punchers. Since hearing it for the first time, this record has become a regular spin from my collection.

I loved the harmonies on Free Meek Mill, the 9th track on A Time for Teens. Rest assured these beer guzzlin’ homeboys got pipes, in spite of much of the record being composed of NoFX-y whiny growls. Sexy Teens keep things relatable with other late album tracks like “Chipped Tooth”, “I’m Bob Margarita”, and “Fchrustup”. The record closes out with “Great Lakes Shuffle, Part 3”, a song about the all too familiar love/hate relationship one has with their hometown. The lyrics to this one are certainly worth a read through. While you are reading through the album credits, make sure to look out for Allegedly Records’s own Red and Lucky33 getting honorable mentions.

If you want to check out Sexy Teenagers - A Time for Teens, I would not google them (especially if you are sitting with your mom, your grandma, your kids, or your significant other) because the search results were not rated PG. Luckily, you can easily find Sexy Teenagers on Bandcamp, where you can listen to their music (which is available for purchase on VINYL guys!!), and even pick up some of their sexy merch. Let your hair down, listen to party punk, and most importantly, keep things sexy by following these dudes on Facebook and Instagram.

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